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what are some things your mother taught you about life?

this is suppose to be a funny, silly question. for instance....
my mother taught me about time travel
"if you don't straighten up, i'm going to knock you into the middle of next week"

Things I remember my mother taught me:
The nutritive value of soil: You have to eat a peck of dirt before you die. The market value of a cow: No one’s going to buy the cow if they can get the milk for free. The heat properties of fire: If you don’t go near the fire, you won’t get burned. God’s methodologies: The Lord works in mysterious ways. The relationship between injuries and personality: Once bitten, twice shy. More of God’s methodologies: If God wanted you to have holes in your ear lobes, he would have put them there himself. The relationship between permissiveness and physics: If (name of friend who was allowed to do something I wasn’t) jumped off a bridge, does that mean you should too? The limits of botanical species: Money doesn’t grown on tree, you know. Secrets of money accumulation: If I had a nickel for every time I’ve said this, I’d be rich. The breadth of her social awareness: There are millions of children in the world who would love to eat that (name of nasty food I was refusing to touch). Knowledge of animal husbandry: Your room looks like a pig sty. Anatomical risks: If you don't stop making that face, your face will freeze that.
Gosh, there are so many more. I never realized just how broad an education my mother gave me!

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